The Expatriate
by Zerolr
Summary: When life swings and deals with severe blows, a numbing feeling takes over… but is it really worth trying again? Rukia wants to throw it all away while Ulquiorra wanders to find the opposite… Ichi/Ruki or Ulqui/Ruki possibility for both! Drama/Angst T
1. Spring

**_"All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their original creators. The original characters and plot are the property of the creator. The fan-fiction author is in no way associated/affiliated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended."_**

* * *

**The Expatriate**

* * *

There are those who believe there is existing life outside of this world. I wasn't one of them. Until one day, I chanced meeting one face to face.

Surprisingly, he searched for something so basic, so human, that we often take for granted—a heart.

And no, it is not the organ that beats in your chest, no, rather it's the feeling that burns inside. That lets you know indeed, honestly, in all honesty that you are alive. That feeling that prevents one from falling into complete **indifference**.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Spring**

* * *

The teacher babbled on as a regular day of school went on, it was almost spring break, Rukia's favorite time of year. She knew how much her older brother loved the spring. She thought of ways to make it extra special for him.

It was going to be the first spring without Hisana. She doodled on the corner of her notebook. Chappi cheered happily next to the Seaweed Ambassador.

Nii-sama.

How fast. How incredibly fast it had happened. It started so small. The light-headness she suffered. The silly bouts of forgetfulness. Before anyone could come to realize, she laid distroyed on a hospital bed suffering of convulsions... her skin once creamy white; a pale sickly yellow.

And yet Byakuya sat there, day and night holding her hand.

"You will get better," he would say calmly, "It will all end..."

And it did. April 7th. Hisana's eyes closed for the last time, and Byakuya's vitality went with it.

"It is better not to feel," he would say from time to time.

"Rukia."

She snapped out of her thoughts. Ichigo looked at her from across where she sat.

"Pay attention, the teacher's gonna notice you spacing out."

"Oh thanks, Ichigo," she smiled softly.

For some reason ever since Hisana's death, he's been very kind, somewhat understanding. The arguments died between them, and if anything, being around him was becoming... awkward.

Everyone even Orihime seem to give them space. The bell ran for lunch and the teacher left. Ichigo stood and picked up his bookbag, slinging it over his shoulder. Passing by Rukia's desk, he saw her doodles, there was an angry teddy bear that wandered the bottom margins of a formula handout. He looked up and saw her chatting with Tatsuki. He picked up the page and folding it, he put it in his pocket.

Walking home from school, Uryuu caught up to him. Chad who always walked with Kurosaki was absent that day.

"Kurosaki, Kurosaki."

"What?"

"I saw that."

"What are you talking about?"

"The paper," Ishida interjected, "Rukia was looking for it, and you were playing dumb. She needs that to study for the exams."

"So?"

"What's with you?" His glasses glared in the afternoon sun, hiding the perplexed gaze.

"Get off my case will you?"

"You,"

"Shut it. I don't want to hear it." The Strawberry power-walked placing a gap between them. The wind blew and Ishida stopped, the distance growing between them.

I don't want to hear it. I don't want to see those faces. Those cheesy smiles, assuming shit. Predicting shit. Even if it's so called 'obvious'...

"Kurosaki."

Ichigo stopped. It was at the corner of the crosswalk. He looked back and saw Ishida approach.

"It's almost going to be a year."

Ichigo's eyes widened.

I thought I was the only person who noticed.

"Yeah..." the Strawberry replied.

"What are you planning?"

"I... don't know... but I feel like I need to do something."

"Well count me in."

Ichigo noticed that Uryuu was studing his face.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Ishida?"

"That's my question, Kurosaki."

"I..." he averted his gaze, "...don't know. But. It's not _that._"

"_That?_"

"Forget it," He crossed the street and Ishida followed.

There was a street filled with blooming sakura and as the petals flew Ichigo's flustered face began to show through. He turned his gaze towards the store windows hoping that the mannequins, posters, and advertisements would clear his mind of those thoughts.

Ishida was tired of it. He wanted the Strawberry to act like his normal self and that things would be normal. Instead of seeing him like this—beating himself up.

Ichigo stopped and pulled out a folded piece of paper from his pocket.

"Instead of following me around, why don't you stop by her house and give this to her?"

The glared lens hid his expression as he took the folded square into his fingers. He didn't take anymore steps, watching as the oranged-haired youth walked home on his own without looking back.

Opening the paper, Ishida saw Rukia's familiar doodles, the teddy bear holding hands with Chappi.

Why is he so afraid of returning her feelings?

No doubt she's waiting for a response...

The four-eyes walked towards the Kuchiki residence. It was pretty average, even though she lived a bit more comfortably in comparison to everybody else in school. He looked about the yard as he stepped prudently towards the door. He lifted his hand to knock but paused before the knuckles hit the surface.

It's awefully quiet. Is she even home? Could it be that she's waiting for Kurosaki? At any rate, I'm getting a feeling that is making me sick to my stomach.

His turned the doorknob instead.

Ah.

It's open.

Rukia walked into Byakuya's room, a hidden smile in her face. She planned to spend the day with him. Just the both of them. After all, the sakura are already blooming.

He layed resting in his bed, the covers barely covering his feverish corpse.

"Nii...sama?" The door creaked open. Stepping silently she walked as if silence were a fraigle glass in danger of breaking.

"Nii-sama..." she whispered. Gently she pushed aside the locks of dark silk, "Wake up Nii-sama. It's still early, let's take a walk. Did you get off early from work?"

There was no response.

Her gaze lifted and on his desk next to the bed was a single sheet of paper laid out, perfectly striaght. She patted his forehead, "You feel cold," she whispered, "Very clammy." Her eyes softened, "You're pushing yourself? It's strange to see you like this," she mumbled to herself.

She stood up and walked towards the desk.

Ishida Uryuu walked into the residence uninvited.

The large violet-blue eyes landed on a sheet of paper as it took in the opening lines.

–

_It is better not to feel._

_ It is better not to have a heart. Not to feel._

_ Then perhaps, I wouldn't be writing this. Then perhaps, Rukia, you wouldn't be reading this..._

–

Her vision started to waver.

Ishida walked through the dim silent household..

_Hisana._

_ I cannot live through this spring._

_ I cannot see the sakura continuously bloom without you._

_ I wish to be like you... To lie cold in the ground like you._

–

_ I think... I think it's beginning to affect me. _

_ Why is it so slow? Why is it taking so long?_

–

_ Hisana._

_ I died a long time ago._

_ When they buried you, they buried me._

_ When they burned you, they did the same to me..._

–

_ I cannot stand this empty shell._

_ I cannot stand watching the winter melt away._

_ It's excruciating the sight of the buds forming on the trees._

_ I cannot._

_ I cannot._

_ And yet they are._

_ They are blooming without you._

–

_ The flowers that have captivated me._

_ That have always moved me—_

_ Now stab me like one thousand tiny blades, one thousand times._

–

_ Rukia._

_ Forgive me_

_ I couldn't be the brother you needed._

_ To let myself be swayed by these emotions..._

_ It is better not to feel._

_ To not be consumed by these feelings._

–

_ Rukia, my beloved sister._

_ Do you remember the last breath she took?_

_ How just then, her fingers slipped out of my hand, how she fell into a place, I couldn't follow?_

_ How at loss I felt,_

_ How nothing was able to console me?_

–

_ Nothing._

_ Nothing at all._

_ I am a miserable human being._

_ I am consumed by grief._

_ Nothing could console me._

_ Nothing._

–

_ Not even your gentle smile, your warm touch, the considered gestures—_

_ because they reminded me of her..._

–

_ Rukia,_

_ Forgive me._

_ Do what you please._

_ My beloved little sister, I leave everything to you..._

–

"NII-SAMA!"

Uryuu rushed towards the sound of the scream and found Rukia shaking Byakuya awake.

"Nii-sama! Nii-sama! Nii-sama, your baka!"

His eyes darted towards the desk seeing first the bottle of liquor and several uncapped bottles of sleeping aids and pain killers. Then the letter, then the realization.

Rukia was shaking a dead corpse.

"Nii-sama, you baka! I'm in pain too! I'm suffering too, Nii-sama! You idiot, you selfish bastard! This wasn't supposed to happen. Wake up—oh GOD, this can't be happening! This can't! No, no, no, no—NO! Noooooo..." she wailed and sunk her head in Byakuya's chest.

Ishida's fists clenched. He quickly turned and walked out. He called the ambulance. And then Ichigo.

The formula sheet rested on the carpet floor dropped by accident flipped to the other side. Scribbled on that side in Ichigo's handwriting was his phone number with the message:

–

_ Call me._

–

"Nii-sama! Nii-sama!"

* * *

END CHAPTER

* * *

A/N: This will be my first fanfiction in which I will write Ulquiorra as a main character. I had started writing this mainly as an Ulqui/Ruki fic, but I've noticed with my notes and plot direction, that it's actually more of a Ichi/Ruki fic. But regardless you will see a lot of both. And the final pairing has not be decided. I will see where this story takes me... Please enjoy, feel free to share your opinions with me in your reviews, they are much appreciated.

- Zerolr -


	2. Guilt

**Chapter 2: Guilt**

* * *

Rukia never called Ichigo. Ishida seemed to have lost his voice because no matter how much their friends asked, he refused to even speak about the incident.

The little town fell under a numbing spell. Kuchiki Byakuya was an important political figure.

Commiting suicide was unheard of for his character, especially when he showed no signs, especially when it seemed like he had moved on.

Renji couldn't stand it. He noticed that his little petite friend became rather cold and sarcastic. Ichigo continued treating her like regular acquaintances. It was all too confusing.

There was a rumor going around for the longest time... that Ichigo was trying to confess to Rukia. That possibly they have feelings for each other besides friendship. But acting so coldly when before they weren't like this? It's because of the death, yes? Maybe?

Spring break arrived being off two weeks normally it was to be a happy time. Renji was walking through school grounds and through the falling sakura, he could see Rukia standing idly under the largest tree on the grounds. Her large eyes focused on the falling blossoms. The gentle breeze that blew waved delicately the small locks of raven black hair. He felt his heart sightly tighten.

Shut it, Renji, if Ichigo can't then, it's practically imposs—why am I even thinking about this? She's in mourning! Mourning for crying out loud!

–

_It is better not to feel_

_It is better not to have a heart..._

–

Nii-sama," Rukia thought, "Now, I understand. I finally understand what you meant by those words. The pain is indescribable, something as simple as these tiny flowers, carried in this heart can hurt so much... like a thousand blades, a thousand times...

She blinked away her tears.

I'm all alone, Nii-sama... why'd you left me all alone? How am I able to keep going alone?

–

_My beloved little sister, I leave everything to you..._

–

What did you leave me? If not an empty house and loads of cash... Everything, what is everything? Nii-sama what do you mean, how do you expect me to hold on if you, who was my pillar of strength was unable to hold on to this life?

She wrapped her arms around her small frame.

Scary.

So scary. The thought of death is terrifying.

Unspeakable. _If the feelings you had for onee-chan was so strong to drag you down beyond that fear than I—_

"Rukia."

Renji backed up to hide his presence behind one of the trees. The Strawberry stood several feet behind Rukia, his hands stuffed into both pockets.

Ichigo? Renji thought, what is he doing here? He's really going to?

The wind blew again as the area around them filled with nothing but the sound of the wind and the distant echo of traffic.

"Believe it or not, I know what you're going through, Rukia."

She recognized the voice and her only reaction was to raise her head towards the tree. Her small back still facing him.

"I waited for your call," he said once more.

A slight pause.

"Bastard, why did you steal my formula sheet? You know I needed that..."

"You got it back the same day didn't you?"

Rukia sighed as she dropped her guard a bit, "Ichigo, it's okay you don't have to console me. You don't have to say those words," she whispered remorsefully.

"I don't lie. I meant what I said."

"Your mother did not commit suicide. You can't compare your pain to mine."

Ichigo's eyes widened, "How did—,"

"Tatsuki. I squeezed it out of her last year."

"You had no—,"

"Your mother's death had purpose, it was honerable and meaniful. You can walk with your head up in the—,"

"The fuck you know?" Ichigo spat, "It was an accident that could've been prevented. It was unnecessary—it was my fault. I didn't listen to her calling and she paid the price of my mistake with her blood, her life!"

She gasped. When she turned to face him, she saw the tears stream down his face. He used his jacket sleeve to roughly dry them.

"Ichigo..."

"When I said that I know, I'm not talking about the funeral, or the emptyness left behind, I'm not even talking about the reputation that's left behind. I'm not talking about any of that. It's the guilt inside you."

Rukia took a step back, her bottom lip quivered . Ichigo continued, "It's that hole that's drilled right at the place where your heart is. That feeling that says:"

–

_It's all your fault_

–

Rukia's eyes blinked shut. The tiny hands plastered at her ears.

"I'm sure you've heard it. The rumors saying that your similarity to Hisana was what drove Byakuya to suicide. The pain you caused him whenever you smiled, whenever you had any contact with him."

"Stop it..." Rukia wheezed, "Please..."

"Everything anything brushed up against that wound..."

"I said stop," she cried shaking her head weakly.

Renji's hand gripped the bark as he anxiously watched on. He saw Ichigo approach her and remove the hands from her ears.

"I know, Rukia, I know. And I know that nothing I say can never change the fact, but I want you to have someone you to lean on."

The warm ember eyes burned into to the back of her mind. And she was stuck, stuck, staring into them.

"I love you Rukia," he whispered underneath the falling sakura, "I've always hated this feeling, I'm afraid to lose you as a friend, but it's burning so bad I can't stand it. Seeing you walk aimlessly like a mindless zombie."

_If the feelings you had for onee-chan was so strong to drag you down beyond that fear than I—_

"Ichigo..."

—_don't want to ever love anyone ever._

"I'm sorry..." she slipped out of his grasp and ran away. As she ran and ran her heart fluttered fluttered from Ichigo's words, from his gaze, from the sensation of his firm grip, from those three words.

Ichigo stood lifeless alone in that blooming spring. His mouth curved in that familiar scowl scratching his head he slowly turned.

Renji could no longer catch the expression in his eyes.

"Whatever," he heard Ichigo grumble, "I don't care. I don't care," he repeated this several times as he walked off as a way to calm his overly fast beating heart. To hide his embarrassment, to stop the thoughts of regret that invaded his thoughts.

–

It is better not to feel.

It is better not to have a heart. Not to feel.

–

Have a hole in place of my heart.

To be able to live in this earth without fear if disappointment.

Without fear of losing.

Without the weight of burdens.

–

Where in front of me,

Where behind me,

Is nothingness...

* * *

END CHAPTER

* * *

Notes: Eh... please don't harass me for the next chapter, because unfortuanally it's not coming anytime soon. *sobs* Even I want to know what happens next... really I do! I wonder if anybody understands me? Yes, I do want to know what happens next just as much as you. Hmmm... I need to sit down and write out the possiblities... I don't like asking for them but:

_Reviews are happiness... care to leave some behind?_

- Zerolr -


	3. Resistance

**Chapter 3: Resistance**

* * *

"Be careful Lady Rukia," cooed the butler as he saw her go off.

"Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it," she replied with a thumbs up.

She was surprised how easy going the servants were to her but she didn't think too much into it as she walked out of the house. It was the middle of the night, and she decided to take a walk at a time where no one she knew can see her. She even had thoughts of running away as she wandered further and further from home.

She ended up somewhere in the Tsubakidai district of Karakura town where the Matsukura hospital was located. It was abandoned said to be haunted by a earth-bound spirit who failed to buy it off while it was in operation. Even though she was superstitious she wasn't afraid of cursed and haunted places and objects rather, it attracted her especially since death was constantly knocking at her door, claiming the lives of her parents, her sister and finally her brother-in-law. She wondered indeed if the other side was just as inhabitable as the real world was…

Rukia crawled through a gap underneath a "Do Not Enter" sign and wandered inside.

* * *

Ichigo tossed in bed unable to gain any sleep.

–

_ "When I said that I know, I'm not talking about the funeral, or the emptiness left behind, I'm not even talking about the reputation that's left behind. I'm not talking about any of that. It's the guilt inside you."_

–

Ichigo buried his head deep into the ruffled pillow, "Why the fuck did I say that?" he voiced.

–

_ "Everything anything brushed up against that wound..."_

–

"I just made her hate me…"

–

_"I love you Rukia"_

–

He felt the tears fall and become damp spots on that pillow.

"I…I…"

He clenched his teeth.

The door to his room opened suddenly and Ichigo flopped about like a startled chicken.

"O—Oi? Who the fuc—!"

"It's me Ichi-nii,"

Karin stood at the doorway in her pajamas wearing her casual face. She saw the tear-streaked cheeks on the startled expression and just sighed.

Ichigo jerked his head to the side and roughly brushed off the wetness off his face. The eyebrows furrowed and his scowl reappeared curving sharply downward.

"Knock on the door next time—sheesh!"

Karin smiled, "Yuzu's been worried about you—ya know?"

Ichigo blinked, "Worried?"

"We might not understand what's going, but we're not blind…."

"…," Ichigo remained silent.

"You've been acting strange for a while now, Ichi-nii."

Ichigo took a deep breath. After closing his eyes for a moment he lifted his head and looked at her.

"Sorry bout that, Karin. Tell Yuzu, to don't fret," he scratched the back of his head, "Uh… well I'm going through some issues,"

"_Girl_ issues?" Karin teased.

"EH?"

"It's about a girl—isn't it? Well, it's about time," she chuckled, "I was starting to think you were gay."

"WHAT?"

Karin laughed, "Joking! I was just joking."

"Well I don't find that not even remotely—,"

Yuzu clutching on to a plush wandered towards the doorway, "Ichi…nii?"

Ichigo smiled, "Look, Yuzu—see? Your big brother's okay."

Yuzu's eyes widened and her mouth opened wide as if to shout but instead it clamped shut as the plushie fell to the floor. She ran and ran and ran and fell into her brother's arms.

"Nii! Ichi-nii, huu, huuuu…." Her face nuzzled deep into his chest.

"Aw? Seriously? Ichigo joked, "Have I been really acting that strange?"

"Whose that girl that got you trippin?" Karin asked eagerly, her eyes shining.

Beads of sweat grew in number as it rapidly fell down the back of his head.

"Eh—uh—uh…"

"Don't make me start guessing…" she chimed.

Ichigo had a sickish feeling telling him that she somehow know who it was.

"Ne, ne! Ichi-nii!" Yuzu lifted her head and looked up towards Ichigo, "I brought you a present."

Ichigo blinked again, "A present?"

"Mmm!" She nodded.

"Oh yeah, that." Karin placed her hands in her pockets, "Yuzu and Dad went and brought you something to cheer you up," she said nonchalantly.

"The Old Man? What in the world could that be?"

"Wait here!" Yuzu chirped. She hopped off his bed and paced towards the door. On her way there she grabbed Karin's hand.

"Come on!"

"Nah—uh—wait; I!"

Yeah… go ahead take her, take her… thought Ichigo gratefully.

He laid his back on the bed.

Is it that noticeable?

That much?

Moments later, he heard the sound of heavy footsteps and pitter patter of his sisters approaching the door.

"Ta—DA!" Yuzu cried, their father held the object in question in his hands exposing a wide grin.

"What the hell is that?" Ichigo barked.

"I told you he wouldn't know," Karin whined walking back into the room. Isshin held a blue wired cage that had strange yellow tubes attached to the top. Inside was a wired wheel and a small bowl with food and clinging on the outside was a water feeder.

Ichigo blinked as he peered inside.

No bigger than the palm of his hand, was a small furry animal with beady black eyes, round ears and a twitchy nose. It was settled within the blanket of wood shavings. Catching his presence, it lifted its tiny head and looked at him.

"You… got me a rat?" he asked Isshin.

"Huuu…" Yuzu's eyes watered coupled with trembling lips.

"Ah! No, Yuzu, don't get sad! I-I love it!" He took the cage into his hands, "I absolutely love this fuzzy—rat—thing…"

"It's a hamster," Karin corrected, "Seriously, don't you know your animals?" Karin sassed.

"Really?" Yuzu cried.

"You bet!" He replied while sweat dripped down the side of his face.

"It's a couple of weeks old," commented Isshin, "One of Yuzu's friends was giving away hamsters and when your sister saw this one—she felt you had to have it." he finalized with a smile.

Of course, Ichigo thought, the little guy's fur is bright orange.

The tiny creature moved about making it's way towards the bowl of food.

"So! Where am I putting this?" he boomed taking the cage from Ichigo.

Yuzu signaled his desk and Karin left the room for something while Isshin chatted about childhood and pets.

Ichigo sighed and his mind wandered off yet again.

Does the old man know? I wonder, has he ever felt like this? He looked at his hands as they slightly trembled.

* * *

"Uwah... I've never would have guess that they still have vending machines around here!" Rukia shone a flashlight that she had found in one of the janitorial rooms and pointed it towards the machines.

"Too bad there's no power..." she moved the light about and found tables and chairs.

"Yosh!"

She placed the flashlight on the ground pointing towards the vending machine and grabbed the chair. She then rushed at it and swung at the machine with all her might only to clatter off her hands and the machine to wobble side to side.

"Tch, tch..." she held her left wrist which throbbed in pain.

"For being old machines, they're pretty indestructible.." she mumbled annoyed.

Her mind suddenly flashed with a memory.

–

_A drink had gotten stuck in a vending machine at the mall and Ichigo reached up and grabbed the top part of the machine and rattled it hard enough for her drink and two other items to fall off._

_ "Ho, hohohoho! Good work slave!"_

_ "Slave?"_

_ "I permit you to share in my spoils." Rukia scoffed cleverly._

_ "Fine, whatever," he said after passing her the drink and taking a soda himself, "Here," he spoke passing the second free drink, "Hold on to it if you want it."_

–

"Ichigo..." she whispered. Her head fell pressed against the plastic glass. Her eyes squeezed shut as her hand reached to clutch her shirt—right over her heart.

"Damn... Damnit!" she cursed out loud.

–

_ "And I know that nothing I say can never change the fact, but I want you to have someone you to lean on."_

–

"Ichigo..." she whispered again, her voice shaking, "Ichigo..." she choked. Her heart was beating so rapidly as the blood rushed to her face flushing her cheeks in a scarlet color.

She didn't want to, but she was. Falling, free falling right into it.

–

_"I've always hated this feeling, I'm afraid to lose you as a friend, but it's burning so bad I can't stand it."_

–

She pulled herself off from the vending machine. She felt her mind spiral in realization.

"He didn't want to—"

The ground rattled with a strange explosion. She stumbled in her footing as some of the light fixtures crashed to the floor.

"What's going on?" she cried.

* * *

A hamster book rested on Ichigo's desk and a small stool from the clinic was borrowed to situate the cage in for the meantime. The twins left leaving Isshin as he sat on the bottom end of Ichigo's bed..

"It looks like you wanna say something."

"Go away old man," scowled Ichigo as he threw his head at the pillow and tug at his blankets to hide his face.

"How could you hate me so much!" Isshin sobbed, "I could still remember putting on your diapers the wrong way... Ah yes, and when you peed on the carpet during your potty training. Oh and when—,"

"Stop mentioning embarrassing moments, it's gross!" he bellowed launching a fist toward his face.

Isshin caught his son's impacting blow with his own and wrapped his fingers around Ichigo's clenched fist. The man's facial expression changed suddenly to one of dead seriousness.

"Thought, you'd never come out of that feeble position—you're still such a baby, haven't really matured much at all..."

Ichigo's eyes wavered at the sight of his father's chastising glare.

"So, things are changing—your feelings are changing. So what? Things may not be the same, you may not be the same as before. So what? Nothing lasts forever, Ichigo, remember this. That is part of being human, of growing up."

* * *

Rukia stepped on a floor that gave in and she tumbled downward. She shook her head and found herself on the ground floor of the hospital. The area around her was in ruins, she could see the floors above her and a hole on the ceiling of the roof.

"Something..." her eyes trailed down following the path of destruction, "fell?"

Before her was a large plain egg-like capsule. She took to her feet and flinched. Her hand flew to her rib cage.

"Damnit," she hissed.

She walked closer to the foreign object, her breathing labored, " I never knew how hard it was to breathe with a broken rib," she mumbled. When she finally came up to the capsule, she reached out a hand and touched it.

The surface was smooth. The feeling of something cold pulsating within it. She pulled her hand back nervously.

Something... alien? She thought wildly. But there's no such thing as aliens...

She looked up towards the wrecked ceiling above from where it came from.

I say that... but this thing fell from the sky.

Rukia stepped closer to it enough to place both hands over it. Again with the pulse. She rested her ear over the soft surface. A heart beat, a steady rhythmic throbbing echoed from the inside.

"What should I do?" she whispered confused.

Just then, the surface of the capsule vibrated and Rukia took a few steps back startled. The egg shaped capsule opened right down the middle. A tremendous amount of steam sprayed out form the opening clouding everything.

When the steam cleared, Rukia's eyes widened in wonder.

* * *

"But … I didn't want to...," Ichigo whispered, "I didn't want to fall in love. I liked being friends with her, I loved it. I felt like I can really be myself when I'm around her. I always felt she understood me better than any person, better than Tatsuki, or any other girl," His fist clenched on his lap.

"I was afraid that if I let these stupid feelings grow then, our connection would end. That we can never speak or hang out the way we've always done. I felt that if I have these feelings, they'd get in the way of us being friends—that it would become awkward—and I was right. So fucking right..." He chucked his head as he squeezed his eyes shut.

"You confessed?" Isshin asked as gently as he could.

"It was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I didn't even want to say it. I don't fucking know why the hell I suddenly said it, but it came out anyways..." Ichigo plastered his hands over his face, "Urghh! I was so dumb! I just wanted to make her feel better, but it went out in a totally different direction..."

"What was her answer?" Isshin asked.

Ichigo was quiet for a tiny moment as if reminiscing before speaking again, "She said, _I'm sorry_, and left."

"How do you feel?"

"Like shit."

Isshin sighed trying to build the right words to deliver as a response.

"First of all, stop blaming yourself for having these feelings. The fact of the matter is, feelings evolve, they change. Either they grow, or diminish. Trust me I know, when you care for a person so much, it comes to a point when that feeling is just bursting from the seams unable to be contained anymore. I think that's what just happened."

"Don't you get it old man? I don't want to lose Rukia!" Ichigo nearly shouted.

Isshin saw his son's glassy eyes and the quivering lips. He closed his eyes and smiled.

Ichigo covered his mouth realizing that he just said her name out loud.

"It's alright, Karin and I had a strong hunch it was her..."

"Damnit... she's just gonna drift away from me, I feel it. And all I could do is watch. Watch and do nothing..." Ichigo clenched his teeth, before speaking again, "If only she was a guy this would have been different. Then things like that wouldn't get in the way. There would be nothing awkward... we'd always be friends..."

Isshin stood up getting ready to retreat to his own room, "Listen son, right now things look impossible but all it takes is just giving in to those feelings. And as cheesy as it sounds, you have listen to your heart. Once you let go, it's like breaking out of a set of chains you never knew you were bound to."

"Che, whatever... I'm going to bed. Good night." Ichigo laid down and covered himself with his blankets.

Isshin walked towards the entrance and shut off the light. He looked back into the room and watched his son for a tiny moment there in the darkness.

"Masaki..." he whispered to himself, "You'd know just what to say to him, wouldn't you?"

–

A strange mysterious man rested within the capsule. His skin paler than new fallen snow. The contrasting dark hair falling about the peaceful face.

He possessed a haunting beauty, a presence that sent chills up her spine.

"I-I should go..." she whispered to herself.

As she stepped back further, the man began to stir. Rukia froze. She knew that it wasn't safe but curiosity told her to stay.

He stirred until he slowly awoke, and Rukia saw vivid green. An emerald color that bled down his cheeks. Those eyes hypnotized her.

He calmly sat up and observed his surroundings. It didn't take too long to notice the young girl.

She swallowed daring herself to ask the question that was plaguing her curiosity.

"What... are you?"

* * *

END CHAPTER

* * *

A/N: Hello fellow birdies! This fanfiction will be focused on the possibility that Rukia can end up with Ichigo. Just as much as she can end up with Ulquiorra. I am a dire hard Ichi/Ruki fan and I love pairing Ruki with different characters, so expect the final choice to be verrrry difficult to make. As I love both possibilities and I will play with either end. Also expect some hints of Ulqu/Ori and Ori/Ishida here and there as well. I play with pairings, so deal with it, :3

I have more updates so keep reading and enjoy!

- Zerolr -**  
**


	4. Contemplation

**Chapter 4:** **Contemplation**

* * *

Ichigo hung out at the banks on the Karasu River. Ishida sat on one of the small boulders seeing him throw pebbles into the rushing current.

"Where is your family going to be for the Sakura viewing?"

"Right over there," Ichigo signaled at a place a bit up ahead, "My dad always gets that spot, it's the perfect place to catch fireworks at night."

"Hmm..."

"What?" The strawberry poked.

"Nothing. Are you going?"

"Course I am, it's family."

"Do you want to go?"

Ichigo feeling frustrated lunged the last pebble he had into the clouds; sailing far and out of sight.

"What's with you?" He barked whirling around to face him, "Why are you so interested in playing matchmaker?"

"Why are you so against having people help you?" Ishida snapped enraged.

"I told you; I want to stay friends, now leave me alone!"

"You say that, but why did you confessed?"

"Huh? H-how did you find out?" Ichigo registered a look of shock.

"Does it matter? Listen, Kurosaki, it's okay. There's nothing wrong with falling in love with a friend. It's normal, it happens..." Ishida said as calmly as he could.

"... you don't get it,"

"No, _you're_ the one who doesn't get it. Rukia has feelings for you, Ichigo."

"Che,"

The strawberry averted his steady gaze and looked out to the flowing waters of the river, "Look, I'm sorry if I'm not some clichéd hopeless romantic that chases after his love interest. I know when I'm a burden to others. Rukia... she pushed me away. If I force myself on her, I'll just annoy her... Or worse... scare her away."

"Even so, you must take that risk," Ishida pressed, "Think about it, this year she's going to spend spring break alone. She's going to watch the sakura flowers that tortured her brother... all alone... Could you imagine how hard that must be for her?"

"Go away, Ishida. I don't want to talk about this."

Ishida Uryuu took to his feet, "Well, alright. But keep in mind, Kurosaki, love isn't complicated. It's actually pretty simple. You run around in circles for too long and then the next thing you know it will be too late."

And with that Ishida walked off.

* * *

"Where is he?" Rukia asked the butler anxiously.

"I believe he is in the study."

The stranger she met last night proved to be as harmless as a newborn kitten. He hardly spoke, and when he did, it is a language that was best described as a mixture of Latin and Spanish combined. He was very prudent, cautious and observant, but not at all shy. In most ways, he was very shameless.

Rukia walked in the study room. It served as the home office for Byakuya, the book shelves filled mostly with literature on laws and theory. She hadn't stepped inside ever since the funeral.

"Ehh... Hello?" Rukia called as she stepped in further. She managed to spot him standing all the way at the other end of the room, reading from a book.

"Excuse me..." she repeated.

He looked up. He was clothed in an all white hakama pants and a white jacket that had the ends that flowed behind him when he walked. What seemed like half of a bone white mask covered the side of his head.

"Que queres?" he asked calmly.

Rukia scratched the back of her head.

–

Why did I take him home? What in the world possessed me to invite a total stranger?

Oh.

That's right.

–

Her hand moved to where she had injured her rib.

He observed her action. He closed the open book with one hand and with the other he reached out to where the injury had occurred.

Rukia hastily took a step back.

"Ha, no, no, no. I'm fine. It's healed... thanks to you," she added with a nod.

He seemed curious to why she flinched at his touch. But at the same time he understood. He was a stranger, both in appearance and in acquaintance.

She huffed, "Okay," Rukia ran her fingers through her hair as she gathered her words, "How can I..."

The man just opened his book and began to read again.

Rukia blinked.

"Wait."

The man looked up at her.

"Could..." she raised an eyebrow curiously, "You could read that?"

The man calmly gave a small nod.

"And you can understand what I'm saying?" she asked.

He nodded again in response.

"Well," Rukia sighed with relief, "That makes is so much easier."

He just stared at her.

"Look, I let you spend the night at my house because I owed you for healing my injures. And well, because I was worried of what would happened if the police should find you in the state you were in." She added remembering the escape she made with him after hearing sirens.

But I can't let you stay here. It's too werid and... I'm grieving, so I really don't want some outsider going through Nii-sama's things," Rukia sighed placing a hand to her face, "I'm sorry, that just came off really rude, didn't it?" Rukia nervously laughed.

The man looked unaffected. Rukia began to nervously sweat. She had no idea how to deal with him.

He sighed and closed the book he was reading and put it on the shelf. He turn to face her and placed his hand over his chest to signal himself.

"Schiffer Ulquiorra."

It took a hot minute for Rukia to realize that what he told her was his name.

"O-oh! I'm sorry! It's just I never—my name's Kuchiki, Rukia." she gave him a polite bow in which he did in return.

He then walked around her and reached Byakuya's desk. He pulled out a pen and a small post-it to scribble a couple of characters on it.

"Oh so you write Japanese too?" Rukia blinked in surprise. She looked over to see what he had written.

–

_Take me to the library._

–

She looked at him. It was kinda creepy how his face registered no sign of emotion or interest.

"Okay, I can do that. But afterwords, I can't take you back home," Rukia pondered and then spoke again, "But, I can book you a room or find some sort of place for you to temporary settle..."

She saw him crumple the first post-it and write on a new one.

–

_I will find my way_

–

"Are you sure?" she asked feeling a bit guilty.

Ulquiorra nodded.

"Okay then," Rukia gave him a nod, "Let's go."

* * *

Tatsuki released the grip she had on Renji's shirt before he collapsed to the ground, "Why'd the hell you tell Ishida?" she growled.

They were at the small Karakura park.

"Damn, the fuck's wrong with you?," hissed Renji, rubbing the back of his neck, "I never meant to tell Ishida **or** you for that matter. But you guys seem to sniff shit offa people."

"Not really," Tatsuki reasoned as she placed her hands on her hips, "You gotta face that can't lie."

Renji snorted as he looked the other way.

"Get up."

"Fuck it. I'm sitting right here."

"What are you so mad about?"

"What do you think?" Renji barked, "I just ratted out my boy to a four eyed weasel and a wanna be dike."

"Listen you..." Tatsuki growled grabbing Renji by the collar once more, "Ichigo is my childhood friend. I don't know what's gotten into you, Renji, but we're on the same page here," she let go of him, "Ishida means well, but he has a bad habit of rubbing things the wrong way. I just wish you could of told me first... maybe Ishida wouldn't have squeezed it outta you."

"I'm not talking about this anymore."

Tatsuki saw Renji stand up.

"You like her don't you?" she asked.

Renji stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Rukia, I mean. Am I right?" Tatsuki pressed.

"No. I may start feeling things now and then, but it's only because she's like a sister to me."

"Be honest with me, Renji."

"I am honest. But what about you? Are you being honest with yourself? You just told me that he's your childhood friend, do **you** like him?" Renji challenged.

Tatsuki looked shaken up.

"What's with you?" she blurted unable to stop the color rising in her cheeks.

"The Tatsuki I know wouldn't rough up someone's friend to find out the roundabout way. She'd go up to the guy and ask for the truth herself."

And with that, Renji walked off

* * *

END CHAPTER


	5. Connections

Chapter 5: **Connections**

* * *

Szayel Aporro Granz stood inside his lab while he worked handling multiple monitor screens displaying various databases of information. The air tight doors opened as a spray of steam that blew away the hot air from outside and controlled the air contioned room. Tia Halibel stepped through those open doors and continued to walk up to Szayel as they closed behind her once more.

"How did the transfer go? Did the Quarta make it safely?"

Szayel exaggeratedly sighed as he moved a lock of hair behind an ear.

"Safely, but not so quietly—so to speak."

"What do you mean?" she pressed.

"This is what I mean," Szayel brought up some images of the crash landing, "See?"

Halibel silently observed and gave a small nod of acknowledgment.

"Armored officials came about, possibly to confiscate my precious equipment but luckily I—,"

"Wait. Stop." Halibel pointed to a freeze frame image, "Who is that?"

"Ugh, does it matter? Some pathetic human who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. I'm sure Schiffer took care of her. Like I was saying, I managed to have—,"

"I thought you told us that it was a remote location."

Szayel slammed his hands on the desk, "It is! My calculations are NEVER wrong. I NEVER make a mistake. Those filthy sewer rats multiply worse than bacteria under fertile conditions! Just because it is a remote location, doesn't mean that you won't find one of those cockroaches wandering about.," Szayel huffed, "Like I had previously mentioned, Schiffer most likely taken care of her."

"Fine. Just call me as soon as Ulquiorra comes in contact with **him**."

"Get out of my sight," Szayel hissed, "You make me sick, you filthy whore."

Halibel stuck out her middle finger as she walked out.

* * *

Walking through the streets with Ulquiorra was more challenging than she would have imagined it to be. Not only did his clothes stand out, but his appearance as well. Eventually, she manged to cover it up by mentioned to curious passerby that it was just orignal cos-play. On occasion, people even stopped to take pictures with him.

Ulquiorra was starting to understand why they had considered sending Coyote Starrk to go at first. But he was glad that they chose him in the end. It wasn't long before they arrived at the library.

"Well, I wish you all the best," Rukia gave him a smile and was about to walk off when, Ulquiorra grabbed her wrist. He gave her somewhat of a menacing glare.

"I-I'm not gonna say anything about last night."

He raised his chin a bit analytically, as if checking to find the truth in her words. Finally after a moment, he let her go.

"Mas te vale..."

He turned and he walked into the library. Rukia turned and descended the steps.

"Who was that?" chirped a familiar voice.

"Wha!" Rukia jumped never expecting Orihime to appear next to her.

"Oh gomen ne!" she replied sheepishly rubbing the back of her head.

"It-it was a cos-player!" Rukia blurted out nervously.

"Oh cool!" I figured as much. I wanna go and asked him about his trademark secrets. He must be a professional," she cooed as she started walking towards him.

"No wait, Inoue!"

"Uh, what happened?" she whirled around.

"I think you should just leave him alone."

"Umm... are you okay, Kuchiki-san?"

"Yea... kinda.. ha who am I kidding..." Rukia huffed as she sat down at the foot of the stairs. Orihime sat next to her.

"If it helps... I have no family either," Orihime cooed softly, "It hurts a lot at first, but then after a while, it doesn't feel so raw anymore. Just numb, and then you don't get so sad. Only sometimes..."

Rukia smiled.

"Thanks Inoue."

"You wanna watch the sakura flowers with me?"

Rukia looked up at her.

"Tatsuki is going to see it with her family, and well, I always have a spot I pick and since it's just me, it's easy and—,"

"I'd love to." Rukia smiled.

"R-really, it wouldn't?" Orihime asked her brows furrowing with worry.

"I'm okay," Rukia reassured her, "Thanks."

* * *

Ichigo walked down the street. He saw couples every now and then, holding hands. Arms around the shoulders, kissing by the bus stop. Ichigo had the biggest urge to throw a brick at them.

The fact of the matter was, that the prospect of a relationship haunted him. For some reason, it scared him shitless.

It's not like he didn't want to have a girlfriend one day. Hell, he always thought it'd happen maybe sometime his third year or in college. The thing was that, never in a million years, had he considered it'd be Rukia. Or anybody else he knew for that matter.

He'd always imagine it'd be some pretty exchange student, or someone he'd meet at a party.

But no, instead it's Rukia. And no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get her off his mind. It was like a sickness that he couldn't wash off.

Over and over again his mind would play that scene where he was rejected. And over and over again he would remember the hesitation in her eyes, the reddened cheeks. Ishida's words;

–

_"Rukia has feelings for you, Ichigo."_

–

"But she said no..." he mumbled to himself. Is she going through the same thing? Ichigo stopped at his destination, the pet store. He was going to get his pet hamster, Orenji, a couple of chew toys and other trinkets.

"The right thing would be to talk to her," he whispered spotting the bunnies, "But, I'm afraid to..."

* * *

A tiny skull faced bug flew over Ulquiorra as it finished scanning down the last page of a Japanese language book.

"Is that all Szayel?" Ulquiorra stoically said as he closed the book.

The skully insect projected a small circular image showing Szayel's face on the wall at the end of a long bookshelf in a secluded part of the library.

"Yes. That should help me complete the language package you need to be able to properly communicate with these imbeciles. Have you spotted him yet?"

"No."

"Well, it shouldn't be too difficult. You'll know it's him as soon as you meet him."

"I don't understand. Why would over throwing the King of Hueco Mundo to replace him with another be any different? In the end, we will wind up despising him."

"Hush you. You can't possibly understand the process of the scientific method. I am testing out a theory. I don't care if he ends up taking Lord Baraggan's place. Besides, a rock can even be a more worthy replacement—anything! Are you not realizing the hellish nightmare I'm going through?"

Selfish and vain as usual. Ulquiorra thought. But Szayel has a point. The current king of his world is a cruel and heartless ruler who has nothing better to do than to order his own men to kill each other for entertainment.

Cities perish, and its people starve. The Hollows murder and consume each other in order to survive and grow strong. Long time ago it wasn't so. But as countless years passed by, he slowly changed to be a heartless monster.

"Understood. I will report when I have come across any findings."

"Good, good!"

The projection disappeared and Ulquiorra was left but not without checking out some books and signing up for a library card. Seeing the librarian's unsettling stare, Ulquiorra decided that he needed to find some more suitable clothing to wear in order to blend in...

* * *

END CHAPTER

* * *

A/N: These chapters are really short. I usually write really long ones. Eventually, these chapters are going to get really long. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing for you guys..

- Zerolr -


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